a boy i dated like two years ago just posted a status on facebook about how much he loves his girlfriend but last night he messaged me saying he misses me and if he ever got the chance he wouldnt hesitate to try and kiss me again and i have all the screenshots of that conversation that i am fully capable of sending to his girlfriend i have this kid right by the balls and i am holding the screenshots for the ransom of 25 taco bell chalupas
Yesterday a guy came up to me at work was like “How are you ever going to get a job with all those piercings?”
I’ll say that again.
A guy came up to me
and asked “How are you ever going to get a job with all those piercings?”
(Source: deathwingxvx, via geekauthormountaingoat)
*plants egg in the garden* eggplant
shut the fuck up ben
(Source: australiansanta, via geekauthormountaingoat)
on a scale from the lightning thief to catching fire how accurate was your book to movie adaptation
"I’m simply saying that life, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uhhh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uhhh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh finds a way."
— Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park (via milkshake-n-honey)
(Source: seanobrienfilms, via cheezitslut)
Apparently the way aquariums feed sharks is they train each shark to recognize an individual shape and sound, so when one shark sees their shape being lowered into the water along with “hearing” their particular “tune”, they know it’s their turn, and only their turn, to be fed. This way they don’t cause feeding frenzies.
I HAD NO IDEA YOU COULD TRAIN A SHARK
look at this Funky little duck
please look at this duck
fuck the duck
DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THE DUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!